Once upon a time, there was a prince that saved a princess from the dark kingdom of a wild dragon. He fells heavily in love with her, they get married, have kids and live happily ever after in their amber castle. 

This is the evergreen story that we are told as kids, that we tell our kids.

The truth is, after the first phase of a relationship, when the butterflies are gone, we are usually hit by the agony of finding out that the initial portrait of the person we share the bed with is just an illusion.

Sooner or later the masks fall off and we find ourselves naked from all the illusion we build for ourselves and for the relationship. When the true journey begins, many feel defeated. They surrender the sword and leave into finding the RIGHT ONE, as if she/he exists. They go on to build a new fantasy.

Twelve years ago, we also believed that fairy tales exist, we were so madly in love with each other that we thought our entire life will be pure bliss, passion, amazing sex, and we’ll support each other no matter what. 

For us, the hard lessons unveiled after only nine months, when my husband started to feel sick out of the blue. 

Strange symptoms started to show up, that we could not decode. He was having heavy migraines, he steadily lost his erectile function throughout a period of a few months and finally he lost vision with his left eye. He was twenty-eight. After an initial diagnostic of a brain tumor, a dozen of check-ups, tests and scans, we got to know THE NAME, THE LABEL of this un-ease. It was Multiple Sclerosis. 

Then, we searched for the wonder pill, for the one treatment that could save him, and we found out in shock that there was none. No treatment to date can cure this. When we asked his neurologist if he’ll recover his vision, he told us “most likely not” but he said the cortisol treatment will help, and for our sex life he told us Viagra is the best out there. 

Back then, all this seemed like a curse, like a black magic spell that fell on us and will never go away. And it felt so unfair, we had only a few months together. Was only the beginning. 

As years passed by, we discovered more and more that what we initially thought when we entered into this relationship, that love is enough and will keep us going is just an illusion. We discovered that looking into each other’s eyes we see ourselves, that what we want to fix, adjust and consider is broken in the other is just the reflection of what we are not happy about in ourselves. 

We went from nirvana into hell many times. We contemplated divorce when we were already separated from each other for a long time.

When we accepted that there is no monster to fight and slay, it’s only us and about us, then we started growing. And then we started thriving. 

“What did you do?”, you might ask.

We started looking for outside help. At first, we started reaching out separately. 

 It was the time when we were just about to make the one year anniversary of us becoming parents to our first daughter. I had to return to work and I felt overwhelmed. I knew I had to reach out to someone otherwise I was going mad. I think somehow I was also looking for someone to tell me how can I fix my girl. She was so clingy, needy, crying and yelling most of the times and above all this, I wanted to learn how I can make her sleep longer than two hours straight into the night. 

Years later I realised that her neediness of me and only me and the comfort that she was seeking was only because she wanted to help me. She knew that I am not well, and she was just trying to offer me a hand. Of course she was, as for her at that age I was the centre of her entire universe.  

So I found the Parents Effectiveness Training and enrolled in a hear beat. I spent one week in daily courses with parents of older kids and I felt somehow embarrassed that my kid was not even speaking and all the exercises  were a little awkward  to me. 

I returned home after that week with theory on empathy, no-lose conflict resolutions and active listening. I told my husband I have now the answers to all my issues, I know how to listen and shut up and how to show heartfelt empathy.

It lasted for about one week and then again I felt I was loosing breath. The theory was still with me, but I couldn’t live it anymore. 

Then it was just the time when I restarted working after my maternity leave, so it was a time, again, of change and adjustment that kept my mind busy. 

Several months into my return to work the opportunity of taking a job abroad came up so I took it. My husband quit his job and his entire life as he knew it and followed me. We packed all the stuff we had in our rented apartment and left.

We landed in our new country on a Friday with one big suitcase and a two years old. The next Monday I started working in my new company. The wave of change that hit us both, hit us hard. We started drawing apart more and more and soon we were just two people sharing the same flat. We spent time together mostly in the weekends.

The journey that followed was again kicked off by our girl. Alexandru started staying with her at home while I was working and this raised for him also some questions on how to best meet her needs and not apply the same that his parents applied on him while growing. He then started the beginners course with Hand in Hand Parenting. What he was learning there he shared with me and together we were trying as much as we could to be the perfect parents. Again theory was building up on us, but somehow real life hit us hard each time we taught we are above the curve.

Alexandru then starts a coaching school in Romania and his travels back and fwd. our home and Romania started to become annoying to me.

I started resenting all the videos that played each day in our house, mainly I only heard about emotions, how to surpass limiting believes and why your past doesn't really matter, what matters is how you focus on your future. 

I said to myself, and to him several times,  this is all bullshit, a waste of money and time which is not paying off. 

I was miserable. And on the background I only heard about coaching techniques. 

As I believed the past indeed matters, and I cannot surpass my own traumas from the womb roll fwd thirty years, in order to heal my present,  I started therapy. And then I started reading a lot of spiritual and esoteric books. And then I tried energy healing, and then angel and karma readings, chakras healing and several more. 

All brought me something valuable back then, and I’ve got a fresh breath after each of these techniques. I could connect better with my daughter and I felt I now have some answers. 

Alexandru followed his own path with his coaching school. He finished that first one and then started NeuroLinguistic Programming. In his trips he then started to attend some courses. They were called “personal development” courses and he spent several days locked in one room with a few other dozen people and each time he returned home, he returned different. Something was changed in him. I started then thinking maybe its not just a bullshit this coaching thing after all and I felt growing inside a desire to have the same change as he did. And I started enrolling to the same events that he had. 

During these years we would’ve take turns in managing all household work and taking care of our daughter while the other was away. All the time this caring about the other needs was still alive. 

Years passed by and as we went through this journey with the coaching school and all the rest, we started connecting better and better. We somehow started to hear each other and no hold back resentments about the past. We started also forgiving ourselves.

Meanwhile we decide to welcome through us another being into this world, another baby girl, which is another great soul, and that together with her sister, are our greatest mentors. 

As our journey progressed and our authentic selves came to light, there was also a lot of darkness shown. But neither of us ran away. We just stayed there, in one corner, even when the other was pushing so hard to be left alone, the other was still there, close by, to be seen. In case the willingness to accept the hand came, the other was just besides.

We finally started to be in a point where we could apply all that theory we learnt from all the teachers, healers, parenting experts we’ve met during the years. And as we applied it on ourselves, we started to speak about all what we knew to the outside world.

We believe that the road to evolution can only happen in a relationship. There is where the growth lies, and the source of enlightenment. 

If this is easy? No, it’s not. If you want to stay comfy and think that someone from outside can redeem you or your relationship, it will not happen. If you blame your partner and think he/she is the cause, without changing anything in yourself, it will not happen. It requires dedication, an open mind and heart and work. Constantly. 

We are here to share our story and to teach what we are here to learn. 

Our values reside in being the teacher and the pupil, at the same time.